My dear Joevelle

If truth be told I don’t really know where to begin for this feeling is breaking me apart. All those memories we had it seems so far-fetched from now and all we can do is to reminisce what is left from you. My dear Joevelle, one of my earliest memories of you is your charming smile and witty personality. You seem so carefree and high spirited despite of a lot of things you’ve been through. You never fail to shine upon us and give us enough strength that ‘hey we can do this and it will be over soon’.

As we longed for your wit and wisdom it breaks our heart that we never got the chance to do the same thing to you, to be the one who always draws a smile and fuel-up ones weary soul. I know you’ve been in fair share of difficulties in life, family, school and friends but that does not hinder you to have a deep-well of bottomless faith in Him and through that you never fail to encourage us to seek for Him in times of our own difficulty.

As I walk through the corridors I always dreamed what it could be if you were here upon us? We would never have this heartache of losing you and never had to deal with this grief. You never prepared us for this. My dear Joevelle do you still remember the things we planned and talked about during our immersion? That hopefully we will graduate and passed the NLE and once that we are full-pledged nurses we will go back to those people who help us make it through and mold us of what we would be by then and give thanks and honor them? to our mentors, family, friends and foster family in Infanta since our success is not only ours to have. You had taught me that everything we do, we should offer it to everyone and to Him especially since we are nothing without Him.

I know it’s wrong to hold on to you since you are now with Him my dear Joevelle. I know He has plans why it had to be this way. I know that you are happy now. My dear angel help us to make it through, take our hearts make it new and make it true, make it like you.

As we face challenges that require us to make great decisions, choices that may change our life forever and as we take the next journey we will take with us your memories that have completely changed our entire being. We will forever treasure every moment of sadness and happiness and the unbreakable bond of friendship we had for eternity.

Pretending to Love

Every time you pretend to love, you impoverish yourself more and more.

Love has great potential to enrich your life. But if you are just playing a role, pretending to love, it’s only going to poison you. Because you are teaching yourself that it’s just a game, and slowly but surely you will lose the capacity to open in love.

Saying Yes or No

Unless you know how to set boundaries to form your safe space, you will always be concerned that saying ‘yes’ might put you in danger. So you will always pull back a little from saying ‘yes’ with your whole heart. Paradoxically, knowing….

how to say ‘no’ to form boundaries gives much more power to your ‘yes’.

Mahal kasi kita!

Mahal kasi kita by Nicole Hyala 🙂

Super Adeeeel! (Part 1)

Ngayong taon naging aktibo ako sa mga volunteer works.

Sumali ako sa GK Project para sa nasalanta ng bagyo nung nakaraang Bagyong Ondoy. Sa RFM nagrepack ng mga pagkaen at iba pang gamit na makakatulong sa mga nasalanta ng bagyo. 2days din ang nilaan ko para dito kasama ko yung ibang mga kaibigan  na willing din magvolunteer works. Sobrang fulfilling sa pakiramdam na makatulong ka sa iba. Yung tipong nararamdaman mo na lahat ng pagod at pinaghihirapan mo e makakatulong sa iba. Sa pakiramdam pa lang na yun e bawing-bawi na.

Hindi ko man plano pero parang biyaya ko din maituturing na mapadpad ako sa school nung araw na yun. Hindi ko alam pero meron pa lang medical mission na nagaganap. Ang pakay ko lang kasi dapat e asikasuhin yung sa uniform ko sa volleyball. Wala sa hinagap ko na meron palang plano si God sa akin nung araw na yun. Naging circulating facilitator ako sa mga pasyente, taga-asikaso sa kanila kung saan magpupunta at tagapanatili ng kaayusan. Nakakatuwa din kasi kahit papaano e meron akong nakilalang bagong kaibigan nung nagvolunteer ako. Si Teph, alumni siya ng school. Matanda siya ng 2 taon sa akin.

Anu na nga ba narating ko?

Ngayong umaga hindi ko alam kung anu ang sumapi sa akin masamang espiritu at gustong-gusto ko maglabas ng nararamdaman siguro marahil marami lang kalat na tumatakbo sa utak ko. Parang meron karera sa loob ng bungo ko sa sobrang bilis e hindi ko na mahabol kung anu ba talaga. Marahil marami lang akong iniisip na nakakaburyo sa utak ko sa mga nakalipas na araw.

Ewan ko ba kung bakit pero bigla ko na lang naisip kung anu na nangyare sa buhay ko. Naging makabuluhan ba eto o sadyang naging bulok na nilalangaw sa paglipas ng panahon. Wala naman akong kagilagilalas na ginawa para maihirang kaugnay sina Rizal o Bonifacio. Simpleng tao lang ako na nangangarap.  Dati hindi ko alam kung anu ba talaga gusto ko sa buhay o kung anu ba talaga panagarap ko sa buhay. Ni-nung makatuntong ako ng kolehiyo parang happy go lucky lang ang drama ko. Para bang kung saan na lang ako mapadpad keri na –ok lang kumbaga. Pero lately, dinagsa ako ng mga pangarap, mga gustong gawin sa buhay. Parang mga kwitis na nagsiputukan sa langit na sa antas ko ngayon ay masyadong mataas para pangarapin ang mga bagay lalo na sa isang dukhang tulad ko na wala pang nararating at napapatunayan.

Pero kahit papaano proud ako sa mga narating ko at mga naibahagi sa ibang tao.  Isang pagbabago sa akin na kumilos at maging aktibo na imbes iaasa sa iba e bakit hindi kaya ako ang gumawa ng paraan, ang kumilos –para maging solusyon? Hindi siguro. Maging parte siguro ng solusyon ay maaari pa. Sa mga susunod na entries ibabahagi ko kung anung mga pinagagagawa ko sa buhay ko. Baka kasi sa mga nagtatyagang magbasa ng mga entries ko e maimpluwensyahan ko kayo kahit papaanu. Makita niyo ang mga mali at tamang nagawa ko sa buhay. Hindi man magsilbing inspirasyon pero sana maging aral sa iba.

JBL Orientation

Infanta, Quezon

Green Day!

BSN III – A